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As seen in the 7/6/98 RadioInk !
Oct 23, 1998
TOP TEN MOVIES TO BE MADE ABOUT CLINTON
10 Citizen Stain
9 Prince of Ties
8 The Big Lewinsky
7 Willy's Wonka & the Cigar Factory
6 Savin'Private Lyin'
5 The Lying King
4 Free Willy
3 Terms of Impeachment
2 Waiting to Inhale
1 Neither an Officer or a Gentleman
WHAT DO YOU DO WHILE IN TRAFFIC ? (survey of 15,000 people
by Pennzoil)
42% read
25% change clothes
46% of women admitted applying makeup (3% of men:)
17% of men tied their ties
CANINE NEGOTIATOR
Buddy the dog, President Clinton's Chopcolate Labrador Retriever got an audience
with Yasser Arafat. The Palestinian leader asked to see the pet during a break in Mideast
peace negotiations. The Presodent obliged. Asked what Buddy could bring to the talks
a White House spokesman said "a canine perspective".
EMU LOVE
An Alabama man is breathing a sigh of relief. A 6 foot tall 150 pound female Emu
has been stalking Ed Stuardi. Ed had noticed the Emu drinking from his backyard bird bath,
then he started feeding her. Well that worked for Ms. Emu and she began to pursue Ed with
hopes of a romantic tryst in mind, to the point that Mr. Stuardi had to fend off the horny
Big Bird with a boat paddles. Alabama authorities released her into a wildlife
refuge where she can find a more suitable mate in her own species.
THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME
That's the title of Mike Myers new Austin Powers movie. They've now signed Kristin
Johnson from 3rd Rock from the sSun to play a KGB spy in the sequel to Austin Powers,
International Man of Mystery.
SOMETIMES LIFE CAN BE FAIR!
(supposedly true)
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off
white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She
called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.
"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.
"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly
sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"
"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full
today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have
any seats available in club or first class".
The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to
mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the
stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who
cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and
self-satisfied grin.
"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the
cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one
seat in first class".
Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is
most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to
get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the
captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit
next such an obnoxious person."
With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get
your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."
At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing
ovation while the man walked to the front of the plane...
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