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HE'S GOTTA BE HERE SOMEWHERE !
95 firemen, 17 police and 3 dogs were on the case of a missing 2 year old
boy. The team scoured the Zurich Switzerland neighborhood where the toddler
lived but to no avail. Finally someone had a thought, search the home. Sure
enough there he was under a blanket.
BUT WE'VE GOT THE GUNS !
A Marine invasion of San Francisco was repelled by of all
people.....beauracrats. The City of San Francisco decided they didn't want
the Marines and their mud, boots and vehicles trampling around their city
in a mock wargame, so they said NO! Oakland's city leaders weren't so picky
and said sure to the Urban Warriar war games.
VENGEFUL VALENTINE?
Not really happy with a former Valentine? Get a Life Flowers can help. This
Toronto based business will send cowpies, dead flowers and other nasty
stuff to a former significant other. But only once ! After that they tell
YOU to Get a Life. Their motto? ``If you can't laugh at yourself then laugh
at somebody else.''...It reminds us of the AudioPros Parody available for
your on air for only $10. Listen here: http://audiopros.com/venge/ram ....
Order here stone@audiopros.com (put vengeful) in subject and we'll shoot
you a tape for only $10 !
TRUE LOVE DEFINED !
The five "styles" of love: (according to pyschologists:
EROS: Physical, PassionateLUDUS: Fleeting, playful, several partners
MANIA: Obsessive thoughts about partnerSTORGE: Calm steady, based on friendship.
AGAPE: Self sacrificing even without reciprocation
A new study of Americans by Univ. Of Pittsburgh finds that a majority of
Americans describe their love life as "storge"...Even 18-24 year olds.
Passion isn't dead though, number two on the list in this survey "Eros".
LIVE TO BE 100 !
Bathe twice daily, brush your teeth, clean clothes and home. That's the
secret according to Thailand authorities who've begun advising the
population on how to live a long life. The 'simple secrets to longevity'
suggested also includes three proper meals a day, 30 minutes exercise three
times a week, six to eight glasses of water a day and six to eight hours
rest. The government dictate also prescribes a health check-up once a year,
avoidance of narcotics, a moral lifestyle, a low-fat diet and maintenance
of close ties with family and friends. The recommendations were released
after discussions with scores of Thai's over the age of 100 !
PRINCESS DI COFFEE MUGS
Those and the t-shirts and all the other merchandise will continue after
Britian's patent office turned down a request by The Princess' trust and
memorial fund to trademark her image.
"OK, LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER..."
Mallspeak is 'like' what it's called. 'OK?'..So this 'like' college
president 'you know' 'like' took it upon herself to 'you know' 'like' try
to get students to give up mallspeak and use Real English. 'I mean' 'like'
who does she thinks she is? Ruth Simmons started the Speaking Across The
Curriculum program to encourage more oral presentations in all classes at
The Massachusetts University.
AN UPLIFTING TOWN NAME !
300 people live in the tiny Kansas town of Agra. There's at least one
prankster amongst them. Someone climbed the town's watertower and painted a
" V I " infront of the Agra, renaming the town.Mayor Merle Barnes says the
new name will probably stay up there until the next re-painting of the
tower. Like he says "I'm not going up there and re-painting it."
NOW HERE'S A NIGHTMARE !
A Thailand glass Crocodile Tank burst while people were attending a ceremony celebrating
the 50th year of the farm. Two bys were swept off of their feet by the gushing waters and
the two cros inside attempted to escape, before being captured by zoo workers.The crowd
obviously went into a panic.
HUGE DONATION !
Bill Gates has forked over what is believed to be the largest charitable donation ever.
$3.3 Billion to two of his own foundations.
ANOTHER LIST for Valentines
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning withchocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called
nasty names.9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working
hours without upsetting your coworkers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your faceslapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter.
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