AudioProsPrepFREE
*Get FREE prep emailed weekly

***Go here for Our new page for daily Prep and links!***

****AudioProsPrep*****
http://AudioPros.com
Get 100 MB Zip Disk just $17.99
Subscribe or Unsubscribe here:
http://topica.com/lists/AudioPros
(replying to this email will not do the job)
Featured Friend: RadioJock: http://radiojock.com
10/28/2001
Need a jingle for a client listen here:
http://AudioPros.com/audio/woknroll/woknroll.mp3
***************************
Top Box Office
Weekend ending 10/28/2001 
1.  K-Pax
2.  13 Ghosts
3.  From Hell
4.  Riding in Cars With Boys
5.  Training Day
6.  Bandits
7.  Serendipity
8.  The Last Castle
9.  Bones
10.  Corky Romano

FROM THE TABLOIDS
* Gwyneth Paltrow ready to walk down the aisle? She was spotted lingerie shopping with Liv Tyler. She's dating actor Luke Wilson.
* Director Tim Burton (Batman, Sleepy Hollow,Planet of the Apes) has dumped his girlfriend of 10 years , Calvin Klein model Lisa Marie for Helena Bonham Carter who most recently played the monkey love girl in Planet of The Apes
* Pamela Anderson has a bulge a little lower on her physique below her famous "twins". STAR says the busty star is pregnant with Kid Rock's Kid.
* Robert Downey Jr. forks out big bucks, and it's NOT for drugs. A man mowing his lawn Crescent Heights Boulevard in L.A. was surprised when Robert Downey Jr. pulled up and offered him $50 if he could park in his driveway for an hour. The man said yes, Downey jogged down the street to shop at a Fred Segal store and saved 57 percent discount on $5000 worth of designer clothes.
************************************
ACID Music 2.0 on sale....Unlimited tracks .Burn your songs to compact disc with Track-at-Once CD burning .Apply effects with Sonic Foundry ExpressFX DirectX Audio Plug-Ins.Record instruments or voice .Preview any loop before adding it to the mix. Just $59.99 at http://AudioPros.com
*************************************
BILL GATES ON FRASIER:
The chairman of Microsoft will be on the November 14th episode, playing himself on Frasier's radio show where he goes on and on about Microsoft products to the display of his host. Great timing with the release of Windows XP.

GRAMMER A DAD
Kelsey Grammer has a new mouth to feed.Mason Olivia Grammer, was delivered by a surrogate mother Wednesday in Los Angeles and weighed in at 8 pounds, 5 ounces.

MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC ONLINE
Or at least it was for a short time. Friday 10/26 for 24 hours you could listen to the entire "Invincible" CD on his web site michaeljackson.com. The CD is being released Monday 10/29/2001. If the lukewarm reception to first single is any indication, the King Of Pop may want to go back to Neverland...

SURVIVOR 4
With the Survivor Africa episode just getting going CBS announced that Survivor Four will be on the island of Nuku Hiva, in the Marquesas archipelago of French Polynesia. Polynesia? Oh wait, let's see if they can survive those dangerous ocean breezes, abundant breadfruit, bananas and coconuts, as well as wild cattle and pigs. What no BBQ'd rats??

R.E.M AIR RAGE
Peter Buck guitarist for R.E.M. will go on trial November 12th on air rage charges in Britain. He's accused of being drunk on an aircraft, criminal damage, using threatening words and assaulting two crew members on a British Airways flight.
***********************************
Recording software and hardware plus musical instruments:
http://AudioPros.com/MusiciansFriend/mfrecord.htm
***********************************

ROSA PARKS BUS SOLD
The bus that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man on in Mobile Alabama has been sold on the web for $492,000 to an unnamed "Cultural Institution". Mrs. Parks defiance in the face of segregation is what
ignited the civil rights movement and propelled a young preacher, Martin Luther King Jr., into the public spotlight.

THE 2nd ANNUAL LATIN GRAMMY AWARDS
The original awards show was schedule for Sept. 11th. It was canceled and now the awards will be handed out Tuesday morning at the Conga Room in Los Angeles, Calif.

GOOD MOVE
``Crossing Over with John Edward'' said on Thursday they have decided against airing footage of the host trying to contact people killed in the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center. The "seer" supposedly attempted to contact those lost after families contacted him.

MADONNA ON DVD
Madonna's Drowned World Tour will be coming to living rooms on November 13th in the form of the Drowned World Tour 2001 DVD/VHS. The release captures her August 26th show at the Palace of Auburn Hills in her home state of Michigan, which was originally broadcast on HBO.

HE'D "RATHER BE DEFIANT THAN ALIVE WE GUESS
CBS anchor Dan Rather says he won't be tested for anthrax or take antibiotics even though the deadly germ was found in his office. It's his way of defying terrorists.

RELAX. YOU'LL TASTE BETTER
A Greek professor says that fish in fish tanks get stressed and therefore don't taste very good. Here's his suggestions to those raising fishes for our dinner tables. Cstomizie water tank color to the species, providing 'play' time in the tanks and improving the quality of their food. how about little fishy massages and chiropractic too?

THOSE CRAZY GUYS AT OXFORD
The Dictionary of Weird and Wonderful Words is out and available. Their goal to make sure that certain English words don't disappear from the language. Go ahead and work a few into today's conversation ie:
hoddy-noddy = Drunk
jumentous= Resembling horse unrine
hallux= Big toe
oxter= Armpit
glabrous= Hairless

*************************************
Books on radio and the voice over biz visit:
http://AudioPros.com/books.htm
*************************************
SMILE:
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
**************************************
Subject: 15 Things That Make You Crazy
You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling (or braces).
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
*************************************
Visit our jokes page
http://audiopros.com/AudioProsJokesPage.htm
**************************************
WHEN KIDS TALK
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to
be yelling at the
same kids.
--Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having
fun, and people
should use them to get to know each other. Even boys
have something to say
if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and
that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call
all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want
to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you
should marry them and
have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8>
***************************************
Martha Stewart vs Me...
Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.
My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs.
Martha's way: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.
My way: Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking.
Martha's way: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.
Martha's way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up"
My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it.
Martha's way: Place a slice of apple inhardened brown sugar to soften it.
My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?
Martha's way: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.
Martha's way: To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away.
My way: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh.
Martha's way: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now blind.
Martha's way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
My way: Leftover wine?
Martha's way: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
My way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
Martha's way: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.
My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.
Martha's way: Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer.
* Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.
* Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.
* Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.
* Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).
My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.
**************************
Subscribe-Unsubscribe http://www.topica.com/lists/AudioPros