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As seen in the 7/6/98 RadioInk !
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5/10-5/13
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Personalities' get your own web page:
WHAT NO WARNING LABELS?
Beverly Hills residents voted overwhelmingly to NOT force furriers to put
informative labels on furs telling consumers how the little animals were convinced in
volunteering their pelts. The prospective labels included such descriptive labels as - the
little critters electrocuted, gassed, clubbed or put to sleep painlessly.
JESSE VENTURA'S "Chemical War" THREAT !
The Governer of Minnesota, frustrated over a stalemate with lawmakers on getting a
final budget deal, invited lawmakers to meet with him all night at the Governer's mansion
to work out the details. But he warned that if the negotiations got tough he'd have to
bring in Franklin, his family's flatulent bulldog to help speed up the negotiations. He
said that if the dog were brought intonthe closed room, they'd "have a deal in 45
minutes".
QUESTION?
Approxiamately how many Star Wars websites are there?
A: 7,000... May 19th is the Grand Openig of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
BRAIN IN A JAR!
The US Smithsonia Institution will return a brain in a jar of a Native American
purported to be the last surviving member of the Yahi tribe. "Ishi" as he was
called died in 1916 and his brain was preserved, but became a large issue for Native
Americans who wanted the remains of their ancestors returned.
MICHAEL JACKSON PLAGIARIZER?
An Italian Court rulled that Jackson must pay $,2700 to Italy's most popular singer
for ripping off "I Cigni Di Balaka" (the Swans of Balaka) by Al Bano
Carrissi and turning it into "Will you be there" from Jackson's 22 Million
selling DANGEROUS CD in 1991.
TALK ABOUT A STIFFIE :)
A Mexican couple snuck into the back of a hearse of all places for a little
intimate quality time. Problem is they fell asleep with the hearse running and died of
carbon monoxide poisoning.
SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME?
Ralph Lauren's "Romance" fragrance can remain on the shelves after all.
Rival Calvin Klein had claimed that the bottle the perfume came in was too similiar to
Klein's Eternity bottle and would confuse consumers. A judge disagreed and refused to
issue and injunction.
THAT'S AMORE !
An Italian man took out a full page ad celebrating ONE YEAR of marriage. ``I
want to thank you for these 12 marvelous months, full of moments of love, which have made
me feel like the happiest man in the universe,'' so said Guiseppe.
NOW THIS IS CRUISING
The Cool One is a new three hulled ship being designed for cruising for the 30 and
under set. The majority of cruises are now targeted at a more mature audience. But this
new ship comes with such amenities as laptop hookups and a much more youth oriented theme.
Some of the items offered: Go-Kart tracks, rock climbing walls and a bad
boy/bad girl bar.
TAKEN FOR A RIDE !
500 passengers were taken for the ride of their life in Argentina when the
conducter got off the train to check on his brakes. A guard not knowing he was off the
train closed the doors to the train which automatically started the train moving. No one
noticed the engineers abscence until the train started passing through stations, six in
all, without stopping. Finally a guard was able to stop the train just hundreds of
feet from thge final stop at the end of the line.
DEMI MOORE WANNABE?
A VERY pregnant Cindy Crawford is on the cover nude of "W" magazine.
MONICA LEWINSKY RATINGS
The former intern brought Saturday Night Live it's largest ratings of the year. In
fact the overnights showed the episode up 29% above the average rating for the show.
THE BOX OFFICE
1) The Mummey
2) Entrapment
3) The Matrix
4) Life
5) The Election
6) Never been kissed
7) Anaylyze This
8) 10 Things I hate about you
9) Cookies Fortune
10) Shakespeare in Love
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