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AudioProsPrep
July 29, 1998
PAY THE DENTIST
A woman in Wiesbaden Germany is suing is suing her dentist. Shoddy work ? No, she claims
he came into a bar and repossessed her dentures right from her mouth. The woman was
enjoying a famous German brewski when the Dentist approached demanding payment when she
said she didn't have the marks, he yanked her choppers.
HAND ME THE MONEY OR I'LL SUE YOU
A man being held for an October trial on bank robbery charges has filed a $1.2 Million
lawsuit against a teller at the bank claiming she slandered him when she told police he
threatened to shoot her if she didn't hand over the bucks. Mortimer Hertzberger claims he
only handed her a note that read "I want the money now". He's trying to
make the distinction that he didn't threaten with a gun a first class felony, punishable
by 20 + yrs. in prison as opposed to a 3rd degree felony (only 5 yrs. in the klink)
HE'S SWIMMING THE ATLANTIC
Benoit Lecomte is continuing his 34oo mile swim across the Atlantic in his attempt to swim
to Brest, France. He's not alone. A 10 feet shark has been swimming along with him about
30 feet underneath him for a large portion of the journey. The Frenchman who lives in
Austin Texas has gone about 500 miles in 13 days and hopes to reach the coast of France by
mid October.
MICROSOFT vs. GM
Bill Gates recently said that if GM had kept up with technology we'd be driving $25 cars
that get 1000 Miles to the gallon. GM issued a press release saying that if Microsoft had
developed technology like Microsoft we'd all be driving cars with these characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
Occaissionly your car would die for no reason and you would just
accept it, restart and drive on.
Instead of oil, gas and alternator warning lights, you'd have
one "general car default light".
The airbag would say "are you sure?" before going off.
Your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in unless you
simultaneously lifted the door handles, turned the key and grabbed he antenna.
GROUNDED AIRLINER
Cyprus Airways officials kept a plane on the ground for a day and a half. Technical
problems ? Not really ! A young boy passenger had smuggled his pet squirrel onto the plane
which then escaped. Officials afraid the cute rodent might eat through wires kept the
plane on the ground until they found the critter.
DRIVE BY WARNING
Phizer, the makers of Viagra are being sued for $110 million by a man who claims he
wrecked his car because of the medication. No, it's not that something 'popped up'
unexpectedly. It's what he says was 'blue tinged' vision problems that distracted him and
caused him to wreck his vehicle.
BULLETPROOF FEATHERS
British researchers have discovered that Pheasant feathers may protect against the impact
of bullets and are studying whether to replace Kevlar in bullet proof vests with the
feathers. Pheasant feathers contain an internal cushioning and keratin, the substance that
makes finger nails hard. If studies prove to be true, they'll start raising the birds
soon.
DNA IN SPACE
Encounter 2001 has already signed up 4,000 people to send their DNA along with a personal
message into space. Up to 4.5 Million people could have their DNA blasted into the cosmos
for ONLY $50 a pop.
SHAWN COLVIN IS A MOM
The 42 year old singer/songwriter (Sunny Came Home) had a baby girl, Caledonia Marie.
DELLA REESE GETS HER PAYDAY
The star of touched by an angel claimed age discrimination against CBS for not paying her
what other stars were making even on her own show. Roma Downey was making $100,00 per
episode. Now so is Della, along with a deal for three TV movies.
BUT OFFICER
A Colorado Springs police officer pulled a woman for 50 in a 35 and then heard her excuse
for speeding. Her pet snake had gotten loose in the car and she wanted to get home as
quick as possible to spend as little time with the reptile. She asked the officer to help
search for the pet. He declined. He wrote the ticket.
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